Leaving the Ninety-Nine.....

Leaving the Ninety-Nine For The One

This is the verse that has been reverberating in my thoughts these last few months.  You see, I love people! Yes, I really do love people.  I enjoy interacting with them, talking with them, ministering to them in small ways that encourage them.  People are interesting and diverse, they are unique individuals with a Creator God's design stamped on them for a purpose.  Yet, they need to know God and know His purpose.  How does this happen without messengers?  Without us sharing our lives with those around us, those God has put into our path. And you know what?  Those God has put in my path can be different than those God has put into yours.   Here is where the struggle rises in my heart.  I have a hard time passing anyone by, especially those with a need, just ask my family who have had to lovingly drag me away from nursing homes and other places where people dwell!  

I am learning to be thankful for the heart of compassion that God has given me.  It was not always this way...I can remember not wanting to feel so deeply for people because I did not want to hurt so much for them.  But our loving and gracious God is teaching me that where there are people there is pain.  There is hurt.  We live in a world that is fallen, sinful, and someday will be changed, but until then, there is pain and suffering.  Yes, there is joy in the midst of these as we rely on an all knowing, all wise God.  He is our joy, not our circumstances. He, who meets us where we need to be met and leads us along.  He also uses His people to meet the needs of a heart that only He can see.

There was a testimony that was shared with me of a man that was asked, " How did the Lord work in your life to bring you to Himself?" The man answered, " I was a proud and arrogant young man, but the Lord looked into my heart and saw that I needed love."  Oh how this struck in my heart...do I look past the pride and arrogance of some to extend love?  I have felt for some time now that God has been calling me to a different place, deeper water so to speak.  A place of dying to myself to meet the needs of a few.

And this brings me back to leaving the ninety-nine for the one or in my case, four.  I have had to lay down some things that I are dear to me.  They are good things, they are profitable things, but they are things that God has said needs to be laid down for now.

You see, I have this wonderful mom that has some needs right now.  The needs are hilarious to me.  Different than anything I am used to and definitely stretch me past my comfort zone! But, I love her, and I love God, and the rest becomes a given in my life.

Then there are these two wonderful young men in my life that I have nurtured for oh so long.  They are in what I call the toddler stage of life.  The time of life that you are learning to walk out what you believe, making decisions that can be life changing.  The time of life where Godly friendship and influence of older ones are so important.   A time that requires hours of conversation,which I have found hard to give with my current schedule, yet am knowing that it is what God wants of me. I found that I was not ministering to them with a servant's heart and that I was expecting more out of them than they could give at the moment.  They needed me to be there for them, to show them love in a way that God knows will benefit them, to model preferring others.

Then there is this fourth little fireball, that has challenged every part of parenting that I have thought to be true.  Yet, he can be the most tender little guy and a joy to us.  He is maturing, growing, and he was the first of the "ones" that God called me to leave the ninety- nine to find the one.  At such a young age, he was pulling away from us, but through loving, snuggling, and teaching, there is change.  Not perfect, but change, and maturing, and a knitting of our hearts together.

I do not know exactly why God has called me to leave the ninety-nine for the one but I know that only He can look into the heart, see the needs, then direct me, and others, to love the way He desires.  Pray with me as I walk this path.  I am not always willing in my heart to give up the things I enjoy, yet I know that Jesus is worth more than I could ever give up and He is my desire, so I lay them down. I need to trust Him, He is always faithful.
~ Carrie